girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
