apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
