I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
