New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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