I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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