how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
