New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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