so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
