I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize