We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
