i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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