I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Bring me that man meat
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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