O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
