Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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