Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
