you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
