wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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