take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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