Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
