Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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