I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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