Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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