Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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