I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
