You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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