The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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