new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
