Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
