even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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