Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
nutella sex= disaster
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
