I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
