And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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