I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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