What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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