the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
