Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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