what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
