I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize