He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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