I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
