Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
North Korea, Best Korea!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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