thus making me awesome and them whores
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
