its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The beer is more important than you right now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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