so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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