Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
