I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
