just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
