Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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