god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
