HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize