Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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