There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
