I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize