You just made me feel so damn special
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
