Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
