I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
