Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
