I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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