Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
whose parrot is this?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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