Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
