Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
