shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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