You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
