so explain again why im purple
no
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
