I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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